‘Get over it already…’: Woman Skips Wedding of Childhood Best Friend to Attend Another Wedding, Bride Ghosts Ex Best Friend

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Feb 5, 2024 9:00 AM EST

The individuals you select to surround yourself with are your closest companions.  No one forces you to stay in a relationship with a person you dislike. However, what happens if the relationship is obviously one-sided? Do you try to repair the relationship that you cared so much about, or do you give up and let it go?

The bride in the following story is upset and wants to know if her response is appropriate. To put things in perspective, OP has worked extremely hard to organize her wedding and has tried her best to include all of her closest friends and relatives in the bridal party. If you had questioned OP, she probably would have said Leah is her best friend given their strong, long-standing friendship. But when Leah, OP's childhood best friend, pulled out of the wedding due to an overlap with another event she had planned for that day, things took a bad turn. 

Having said that, be sure to keep scrolling and read the story below if you're interested in learning more about the specifics of what happened between OP and Lea, where Lea headed off to, and how she 'apologized'! When you're done, don't forget to read this story about the woman who, because of her 'child phobia', refuses to attend her sister's wedding!

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  • 01
    I (29, F) got married recently. I had been planning my wedding for a long time and had 10 bridesmaids as I did not want to leave any of my closest friends or cousins out. I did not want it to be financially draining for anyone so bought all their bridesmaid's dresses. One of my childhood best friends (let's cal her Lea) was also my bridesmaid. I
    via Canva
  • 02
    AITA for ignoring my childhood friend after she ditched me on my wedding?
    via u/No-Proposal-7820
  • 03
    I (29, F) got married recently. I had been planning my wedding for a long time and had 10 bridesmaids as I did not want to leave any of my closest friends or cousins out. I did not want it to be financially draining for anyone so bought all their bridesmaid's dresses. One of my childhood best friends (let's cal her
    via u/No-Proposal-7820
  • 04
    Lea) was also my bridesmaid. I had switched three flights to be there for her wedding and then return just the day after as I was not able to take time off work but did all my bridesmaids duty and maid sure I was there for her wedding no matter what. But when it came for the time
    via u/No-Proposal-7820
  • 05
    of my wedding she wasn't getting very involved in the planning but would leave random messages to me from time to time to show her excitement. I just assumed that she was really busy and did not think much of it. I was a bit shocked and hurt when she did not show up for
    via u/No-Proposal-7820
  • 06
    my bachelorette. My sister and my MOH told me that she had asked each and everyone of my bridesmaids about their date of convenience and budget before planning my bachelorette and Lea had confirmed her presence but dropped out last minute saying she
    via u/No-Proposal-7820
  • 07
    had an important work meeting. I believed her till I found out that she was actually out on a cousins trip on the same date. This really p sed me off and I confronted her. She never gave a proper explanation and just became really defensive. I left the matter there as I did not want to ruin
    via u/No-Proposal-7820
  • 08
    my wedding and chose to give her the benefit of the doubt. I had a grand music night a day before my wedding. She was there for it and everything seems normal. The next day in the morning when I called all my bridesmaids to my room for the
    via u/No-Proposal-7820
  • 09
    final bridal entry practice, I found out that Lea had already left because she needed to attend another wedding. I was very upset. I was anyway in the bridal mode and it really effected my mood. I also had to make some last minute changes to the bridal entry.
    via u/No-Proposal-7820
  • 10
    Later when I confronted her after the wedding, she wasn't apologetic at all. She simply told me that she had to also attend her husband's cousins wedding and since she was already there for one wedding related event it shouldn't be a big deal that she missed my actual wedding since I
    via u/No-Proposal-7820
  • 11
    would anyway be busy on the day of my wedding and wouldn't get time to interact with anyone. I asked her why she did not tell me earlier, I wouldn't have bought her the bridesmaid dress and wouldn't have planned things keeping her in mind. She said that she did not want to upset me
    via u/No-Proposal-7820
  • 12
    and thought it's best if she leaves without telling anyone so that she is not "emotionally manipulated" into staying. Since then I have been avoiding her. I had a lot of love for her but I just feel so betrayed that all the love seems to have evaporated. Some people things that I am being petty and I should just forgive her. So, AITA?
    via u/No-Proposal-7820
  • 13
    BoyoDee 11 days ago Commander in Cheeks [219] NTA, if anything you are being too mild. Someone else already said it, but I'll repeat it, I believe you got used. You covered her expenses including the dress and she completely
    via u/BoyoDee
  • 14
    flaked without a word of notice. If it were me I'd be asking her to compensate whatever was spent on her back and then consider the friendship over.
    via u/BoyoDee
  • 15
    Fallout83 11 days ago Partassipant [3] NTA and it honestly sounds like she's using you a little bit. You bought her a free dress and to thank you for it she decided not to even attend your wedding while wearing it. This does not
    via u/Fallout83
  • 16
    sound like a friendship worth sustaining if you are the only one putting in effort while she doesn't seem to care at all about supporting you. She's also being extremely manipulative by painting herself as the victim here,
    via u/Fallout83
  • 17
    claiming she would've been “emotionally manipulated" to stay at the wedding she was chosen to be a major part of. It's time to cut ties with this woman and move on to better friends.
    via u/Fallout83
  • 18
    evil-mouse · 11 days ago End the friendship. Not because she didn't attend the wedding, bachelorette etc etc. But because of the way she did it. She knew she wasn't going to attend and she
    via u/Fallout83
  • 19
    said she would. Because of her absent you had to change things. Her saying that she just left so you wont emotionally manipulate her into staying is the final straw. Don't avoid her, actively cut her out of your life.
    via u/Fallout83
  • 20
    Nightshade_Eggplant 11 days ago Agree, but honestly, I think the friendship is already over. OP is an afterthought to Lea. Lea has moved on; OP should too.
    via u/Nightshade_Eggplant
  • 21
    bobofiddlesticks 11 days ago Partassipant [2] ΝΤΑ Her actions have shown you that this relationship is very one-sided, so why spend a lot of time trying to maintain it?
    via u/bobofiddlesticks
  • 22
    If you find yourself spending a lot of time thinking about it, it's probably a sign that you should try to talk this through with her, to at least get some kind of closure about it, but if you're already past it I don't see why you should feel any obligation to mend anything.
    via u/bobofiddlesticks
  • 23
    Canadian_01 11 days ago Certified Proctologist [23] NTA She never asked for your forgiveness, so you don't owe it to her. She didn't apologize and worse, she decided to bag off with no notice because she thought you would 'emotionally manipulate'
    via u/Canadian_01
  • 24
    her. That's gaslighting at it's finest, blaming someone else to justify her doing the wrong thing. Personally, I'd tell her how upset you were that she just left, and essentially blamed it on you. Tell her you thought you had a
    via u/Canadian_01
  • 25
    better friendship than that, and you're really disappointed. She can do what she wants with that. YOu'll soon find out you made the right decision.
    via u/Canadian_01
  • 26
    girlfromthesouthh 11 days ago Partassipant [2] • NTA - but take it as a lesson. Don't do things for people expecting they'll do it for you too in return. You were there for her, made sacrifices to be at her
    via u/girlfromthesouthh
  • 27
    wedding because you wanted to. She didn't do the same for you, it s ks. Move on from her. She's not family or anyone you have to live with.
    via u/girlfromthesouthh
  • 28
    forgeris 11 days ago A ole Aficionado [19] NTA. Her actions tell you everything you need to know about her - she was never really your friend, so start treating her like stranger too.
    via u/forgeris

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friendship family drama bride wedding drama bridesmaids relationship-drama bridal party reddit story family feud petty wedding breakup Reddit karen story karen
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